In one of his most famous discourses, the The Discourse on Advice to Siga1a (Sigalovada Sutta), the Buddha pinpoints six of the main relationships that most people will be involved with during their life, and he gives advice on how these relationships should be conducted. In this discourse, we see the importance that the Buddha places on trust, love and mutual respect between people. It also highlights,the Buddha's' persuasive but gentle way of teaching. In ancient India, it was a common religion, practice to worship the six directions every day. A young man called Sigala performed this rite each morning, not because he was religious, but because his father had requested him to do so just before his death. The Buddha saw Siga1a worshipping the six directions, and when he asked him why he did so, Siga1a told him. The Buddha did not criticize or disparage Sigala's religious practice because, even though he knew such rituals were of little value and that Sigala was doing them without any understanding, he could see that the young man performed them with good intentions, out of respect for his father. Compassionately and tactfully, the Buddha suggested that worshipping the six directions could be done in another, more meaningful way. He then proceeded to reinterpret the worship of the six directions in terms of developing trust, love and mutual respect in six types of human relationship, Let us see what the Buddha says.
N.B: In this excerpts, two relationships are discussed:
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The first and perhaps most important relationship people enter into, one that probably lasts a lifetime, is the one between parents and children. Here, as with other relationships, the Buddha indicates that there has to be a balance between rights and responsibilities for, there to be "peace and freedom from fear" between parents and children. Describing these rights and responsibilities, the Buddha says:
In five ways, a child should minister to his mother and father as the eastern direction. He should think: "Having been supported by them, I will support them in return. I will perform their duty for them. I will maintain the family traditions. I will be worthy of my heritage. After their death, I will distribute gifts on my parents' behalf."
In five ways, parents reciprocate by ministering to their children as the eastern direction. They should restrain them from evil, encourage them to do good, reach them some craft, find them a suitable spouse, and in due time they should hand over their inheritance to them. In this way, the eastern direction is covered, bringing peace and freedom from fear.
When these responsibilities are fully carried out, it is easy to see how they engender gratitude, respect and love, and how they lead to enduring family bonds. Consequently, the Buddha says that the support of mother and father (mata pitu upatthanam) and the cherishing of wife and child (putta darassa sangaho) is one of the highest blessings.,
In some traditions like Confucianism, reverence by children for their parents is given such emphasis that children feel that they are forever in their parents' debt. This can lead to children believing that whatever they do for their parents, it is not enough, and consequently to guilt and feelings of inadequacy. While recognizing the sacrifices parents make in bringing up their children, the Buddha says that we can repay them by introducing them to the Dhamma.
Living in the same house with someone for many years requires skill and patience, and if a husband and wife are unable to get along with each other, the love that they once might have had for each other can deteriorate into indifferent and from that into bitterness and hatred. An unhappy marriage can spoil one's whole life, while a happy one can be a source of great joy. But a happy marriage is also important because it will affect more than just the two people involved - it will also have an effect upon the children. A stable parental background is an important factor in the development of an emotionally balanced child. The Buddha mentions being faithful, the equal sharing of responsibilities and thoughtfulness, all of which are expressions of love and respect, as key factors in a happy marriage. Ideally, a marriage should be a partnership between equals.
In five ways, a husband should minister to his wife as the western direction. He should honour her, he should never disparage her, he should not be unfaithful to her, he should give her authority, and he should give her adornments. In five ways, a wife should reciprocate, by ministering to her husband as the western directions. She should organize her work properly, she should be kind to the servants, she should not be unfaithful to him, she should protect what he brings home and she should be skillful and diligent in all she does. In this way is the western direction covered, bringing peace and freedom from fear.
Buddhism sees marriage as an important relationship in a person's life and as one of the building blocks, of a stable and healthy society, but it also accepts that just as people can fall in love, they can also fall out of love, and therefore people should be able to seek a divorce if they wish. Few things could be more cruel than forcing two people to live together when they no longer love each other, and when they could perhaps find happiness and fulfilment with another partner. Buddhism does not see divorce as a sin but as a legitimate way of solving a problem.